


Pensiveness of the Soul

by MyrinneQueenoftheAmazon



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: And didn't try to find him, Angst, But he is hurt that his father figure is alive, Caleb and Fjord understand each other the most, Caleb still thinks of Nott as a sister, Caleb thinks of the group as a family, Character studies, Even if he tries to say otherwise, Even though the two sometimes don't agree, F/F, F/M, Fjord wants to find Vandren, Fluff, Gen, Group as family, Her and Caduceus often work together to help their friends, Jester is a good emotional healer, Just like Caduceus, M/M, More tags in the future, Multi, Nott still tries to mother Caleb, Only she goes about it a different way, Other, So he wants to help the group in anyway he can, The dynamic of their relationship is complicated but works, The wizard reminds her of her son, my own headcannons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-17 17:23:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyrinneQueenoftheAmazon/pseuds/MyrinneQueenoftheAmazon
Summary: A series of drabbles centered around the Mighty Nien posted on my tumblr, myrine-world. They are comprised of different character studies, headcannons, group as family/friends fluff and some romantic pairings.1) Perception - Jester character study2) Sudden Realization - Caleb character study3) Hesitance - Fjord character study





	1. Perception

**Author's Note:**

> Set around episode 52 'Feral Buisness' 
> 
> Summary: Jester perceives a lot more about the party members emotional state than anyone gives her credit for. With the Ruby of the Sea as her mother, I'm sure Jester would have a lot of support and learn from her momma and the traveler when she was younger.

Jester knows how to read people. 

Underneath her cute yet carefree persona, she notices what people are trying to hide from the outside world. Of course she is not as good at it as her momma. The Ruby of the Sea gleans heaps of information off all her appointments during the first meeting. Her momma often would tell a tiny Jester about her learned secrets from the different outside visitors in a conspiratorial whispered tone after the night’s exciting bedtime stories. She doesn’t have just one favorite, but a fond secret she remembers is a lord liked to dress up like a chicken while making his servants feed him and make a nest for him to rest in. A giant chicken humanoid hopping up and down on one foot with little pink bowed chicks making a nest bed is one of the first drawings in her sketchbook for The Traveler. After heating the story, both her and her momma could not stop giggling while guessing what color the lord’s feathers are as a chicken. Every conversation was safe under familiar pink blankets of her childhood bed.

As she grew older, her momma decided to teach Jester how to spot different people’s stories for herself. The Tiefling never could read anyone as fast or in depth as her momma but could notice important details after a few meetings. It made momma so proud when she would practice her lessons on the different employees at The Lavish Château and graduate to people watching while picking out a random stranger on the street to give a small detail about them. Jester knew from the Traveler’s promises she would be able to see all the whole wide world outside her room. When she told momma as much, the red Tiefling gave her a gentle smile.

_‘You, my little sapphire, are much braver than I ever dreamed of being. The world is a scary and dangerous place. It is filled with monsters and normal beings. Frequently, it is hard to tell which beings the monsters are truly. I will make sure you have all the skills you need to survive among the crowd to avoid these beasts. Then you will be ready to take what the world throws in your way.’_

The Mighty Nien quickly becomes her traveling family after her hasty departures from Nicodranas. Her mother’s teachings always help her in some form or fashion. Jester sees what others don’t besides maybe Caduceus. Like when Beau uses seething insults to cover up her feelings of inadequacy when the monk feels like she does not belong with the group. Or when Caleb goes off into his own head space scratching at his bandages until the skin underneath almost bleeds from memories when the wizard thinks he is alone. All these things are kept in her journal between her and the Traveler. He is good at giving her advice on what to do.

The group is currently staying outside Asarius thinking it would be beneficial to wait a few days to earn more gold. While Nott agrees with the knowledge of how much coin the jobs from Lady Oleos will give the party, the tiny goblin girl becomes more distant every night before bedtime. Jester tries her best to send messages to Nott’s husband as often as possible. Relaying all responses in excitement back to her friend. She knows this is not enough as she can hear small sniffles from Nott’s bed roll beside her own as Caleb and Caduceus take first watch. Almost silently, the Tiefling shifts down her blankets like she did in her old room when she wanted to go exploring at night without getting caught. Caduceus glances over his shoulder to give her a small nod of conformation. Suddenly Caleb is drawn into a big furry hug leaving the wizard frozen in shock.

While Caleb concentrates on Caduceus, Jester slips into Nott’s bed roll and curls her whole body around green skin. Her tail wraps lightly around the goblin’s small waist. Gently she uses her sleeve to wipe her friend’s face while whispering reassuring promises. At first it is about how Yeza would be rescued by The Mighty Nien then be brought to safety, so the goblin will no longer have to worry about him. But over time it morphs into Jester fiercely stating she loves her friend in any form Nott chooses to reside in. Should she want to break whatever spell turned her into a goblin, then Jester is helping her friend until the quest is complete. ‘Momma is right,’ she surmises long after the goblin fell back asleep leaving her to stare at the night sky under Caleb’s dome, _‘There are many monsters living in this world that terrorize normal people who don’t deserve it. But I am going to heal my friends and destroy any monsters who threaten them just like momma taught me.’_


	2. Sudden Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set around episode 45 'The Stowaway'
> 
> Summary: Caleb considers all of the Mighty Nien his second family. The wizard just doesn't want to admit it.

Despite his protests and worries, Caleb finds a second family within the Mighty Nien.

Nott is his closest friend in the group due to the past they share together before the group’s formation. Despite the different opinions on how the two viewed their relationship with the other person. The wizard never had the chance to really talk to his goblin friend after hearing she viewed him like a son. But the thought did not bother him like he thought it would after the subject of mothers were mentioned. Caleb still thinks of Nott as his little sister with an aptitude for pickpocketing, a love buttons or any shiny item and an ability to give him level headed words of wisdom when he needs it. She always makes sure he eats something when studying or when he retreats into his mind when bad memories are at the forefront of his thoughts. No matter how she thought their relationship dynamic plays out he was happy to have her in his life. His green little sister is the first person he accepts as part of his new family. 

The second person to join his slowly growing family list is Beauregard. The monk is crass, abrasive and more likely to knock a few teeth out while trying have a regular conversation. However, she is now learning to listen before deciding brute force is always the answer to every situation. He spills his whole back story to her after a promise at alliance and offering her truth in Zedash. It is a shock to him that she never told his secret to any of the other group members absent for his admission of guilt. The monk is good at finding trouble in any town the group heads too, but she is also good at confronting any given situation she finds her self in with a scowl etched on her face. Most recently, Beau rushes into a river of lava to save his goblin sister. Fire dances up her skin making her figure running toward the group look like a giant torch. Ignoring the pain which the wizard knows is present from experience, the monk carries Nott’s unconscious body back to Jester and Caduceus for healing. For her actions, Caleb silently promises to help the Cobalt monk in any way he can with her goals. 

Caduceus and Jester are sources of comfort for very different reasons. Both bring a vastly different type of healing in their own unique individual way. Jester shines brightly like her mother’s nickname of endearment for her daughter suggests. The blue Tiefling spreads cheer and mischief alike everywhere she goes. He does not mind her happy nature or small pranks devoted to the Traveler as Nott is often her partner in crime. But under her behavior, Jester shows much more emotional understanding than what the group realizes. The healer often purchases a person’s favorite things as gifts to bring a smile to his or her face. If the Tiefling perceives a gift will not work, then she gives physical and verbal comfort to all those who need it separate from the group. Often these cuddle sessions are at night when Jester is sure most of the party are asleep. Caduceus brings his own style of calm healing in to the mix. The firbolg does not have any knowledge of the world outside of his garden, but he makes up for it with an even greater knowledge of what a person needs at any given time. The tranquil smell of tea with a richly prepared plate of food waits on anyone needing the comfort of spoken conversation after traumatic events. Sometimes he gives a hug after a really draining conversation. 

Yasha is before Fjord even though, she often wonders away for long periods of time due to her duty to the Storm Lord. The almost mute giant of a woman connects with him in many ways. They both are socially awkward around people having no clue what to do unless the interaction becomes desperate. Their past homelands reside in the back country of nowhere in the Empire and Xhorhas making them both feel like outsiders. Yasha knows when Caleb just wants to read in silence with Frumpkin on his shoulder, but still be in the presence of company. With their unspoken understanding of each other, the wizard always looks for a storm for his friend. Caleb also finds himself learning and reading everything he can about the local wild flowers to let the Xhorhasian know the types of plants that grow in the area. The pain of losing a partner is a pain he is acquainted with very well for Caleb lost his two partners the day his parents died. 

The last person he considers on his list of new family members is Fjord. At first the wizard and the half orc did not get along. He threatened Nott which is a bad action to take around Caleb. The sight of a falchion pointed at his sister’s throat instantly made his fingers twitch to tug on the glove of blasting. Afterwards, he keeps an eye on Fjord while not completely trusting his new leader. The position of leading the group does not interest him. So, he allows the half orc to take the spot uncontested. In case of the worst happening, Caleb makes a back up plan with Nott to run should the occasion arise. Then Avantika happened along with the shit show on Darktow. It was after those events that he understood the half orc better about what his motivations are. If Caleb knew one of his parents were alive he would do everything in his power to find them. 

Upon the realization of having a second family, he almost experienced a nervous break. What could he do to protect them from Trent?


	3. Hesitance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set around episode 50 'The Endless Burrows'  
> Summary: Fjord's thoughts on Vandren after finding out his mentor lives.

_‘By the way, Vandren is alive. I asked the Wild Mother about him in my morning meditations.’ ___

__The firbolg cleric’s words continue to repeat themselves over and over in Fjord’s mind. Initially when this information was casually revealed by Caduceus, he felt something akin to grateful shock then a brief flash of hope. Vandren survived the shipwreck. One of the only people who he considered to be a father figure in his life still lived despite half orc’s assumption only himself and Sabian to be the only survivors on the Tide’s Breath. The rest of the morning gave him no time to think about any of his other thoughts about the matter. The group attempts to find any way possible to save Nott’s halfling husband while making sure her son is safe from the ever-expanding war between the Empire and Xhoras. Currently, the Mighty Nein find themselves traveling after the Kryn through their own worm dug tunnels because of their not so thought out plan to rescue Yeza._ _

__After staring at what seems like a never-ending expanse of endless earth for hours and blocking out Beau’s attempt to read a dramatic rendition Jester’s poorly written smut novel, Fjord finds time to revisit Caduceus’ statement. He is ecstatic to learn his mentor lives and thankful toward the pink haired cleric for telling him this information. However, the green skinned half orc stops himself from asking if the firbolg knew more information about Vandren. Journeying on the sea was his attempt to make sense of who Vandren was before he appeared in Fjord’s life while possible figuring out how his patron connected with it all. Being at sea did accomplish these goals. In the past, his mentor took up pirating and remained amicable to most of the pirates on Darktow Isle. Vandren and Avantika knew each other due to shared worship of Uk’otoa. Both had great plans until his mentor disappears with his knowledge and his own orb._ _

__He already decided Vandren lost favor with the many eyed serpent during his nightly musings before bed. It was obvious to him now that he found Vandren’s orb and receives orders to free Uk’otoa from it’s bindings with a promise of great reward. His past visions latched on to his desire to learn more about his mentor while the serpent tugged Fjord along with promises of power the orc never had. But almost freeing his benefactor shook him away from his power high. The thought of unleashing the monster to the world frightens him after seeing the creature fight in its prison. It makes the half orc wonder if a similar vision made his mentor reevaluate completing Uk’otoa’s goals. Thinking back to the jealousy he felt when seeing Avantika gain her reward before him, he concedes Vandren might have decided to part ways to seek all the rewards for himself and along the way fell out of the trapped false god’s favor. Whatever reason Vandren left would be made known to the half orc when it became time to deal with the last key._ _

__However, he finds himself hesitant to learn any more information about his former captain and adoptive father. Vandren made no attempt to check if he made it out of the explosion, nor did his mentor try to seek out some form of contact to show Fjord that he endured the shipwreck as well. All the talks, jobs and time at sea seems to not be as important to him as it is to the half orc. He made it his mission to try to learn any information he could about his mentor’s past life while honoring Vandren by adopting his accent. It looks like his father stuck to a plan which involves Fjord being left in the dark forgotten instead of putting in effort to reconnect. His insight crashes over him like a violent ocean wave in a storm. It hurts to think their relationship meant nothing to Vandren. The more he is away from Uk’otoa, the sea and his memories, Fjord continues to think he made the right decision to leave it all behind for the moment. To process his father’s inattention he needs time, so he can face his past again. An opening ahead catches his attention. Right now, the Mighty Nein need his help. Nott and her husband need the half orc’s help. Vandren can wait just like he thought Fjord could._ _


End file.
